The Joy of Cooking Fairy: FAIRY 2012: DUNGEONS AND FLAGONS OF JOY

Okay, people. As has been my only firm assertion of certainty in life, formulated a little over 10 years ago, the one thing I have come to rely on is the fact that whatsoever I may decree to be so, or possible, or myself capable or incapable of accomplishing; the Universal Force will nearly immediately, and with due prejudice, slap me in the face with it and prove me wrong. Or foolishly over assertive, under-considered and, perhaps, lacking finesse and tact.

But it is grossly unfair to employ GingerMan in it’s disapprobation. Yet equally heartwarming the number of persons engaged to steer me toward my first ever Statement of Resolution which, you may recall from the other day, I said I never do. Smack!

First, My Transgression:

In the course of beginning this blog, I may have, at the expense of other perfectly fine and useful cookbooks, extolled the heavenly virtues of my beloved Joy of Cooking 2006 Anniversary Edition. I might have snooted, just a bit, at the lovely Marion Cunningham and the equally beloved Fanny Farmer cookbook. The fact is, I snoot and snark quite a bit about, well...

Too many things to account for. My inner Old Man, Bern, grows crustier by the year and I fear I may do less to mask his bilious outpourings at times. In the Interwebic Universe, however, I am often both a Refined Genius and Gentle Angel of Compassion. Step into Reddit.com’s giddily adolescent chat rooms, anywhere on Fark.com or Ars Technica, even lovely crafty communities which shall remain nameless but whose boards contain the same veiled snipes, condescension, and haughtiness.

Thus, I had to laugh till I wet my ducky pajama pants when GM sent me this link, a pastiche of what would surely be the role-playing game community’s ‘expertly’ affected examination of a JOC-type cookbook: “Killjoy Cooking With the Dungeons and Dragons Crowd” http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/commentary/alttext/2008/06/alttext_0618 . ‘Scuze me, hafta go dry the tears, I may have just cracked a rib laughing.

Where’s the Joy??

As discussed last time, it’s time to grab it like a bad-ass and run with it, SOOOOOOOO, LADIES AND JELLYSPOONS, I PRESENT YOU WITH, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME EVER ON STAGE, SCREEN OR INTERWEBS......

FAIRY 2012: LICK THE SPOON!

And in that spirit, MORE CAKE! CHOCOLATE CAKE! TWO WAYS!

From Joy Of Cooking, you will need TWO (2) Recipes of COCOA DEVIL’S FOOD CAKE, pg 718.

NOTE: This recipe brings up an interesting lesson about cocoa powders. You may have noted, when shopping, that there is often a choice of “Cocoa Powder” and “Dutch(ed) Cocoa Powder”. From JOC pp. 969-970 (in the section “Know Your Ingredients”), we learn Cocoa Powder is chocolate “...pulverized and partially defatted...”, processed to it’s dry state.

Harold McGee, in On Food and Cooking (pg. 557, pg.705) describes the journey of solid cacao bean to powder to arrive at this, the most concentrated essence of chocolate flavor, then the further processing required to achieve Dutch(ed) cocoa by neutralizing the acidity. Due to this alkalinization, Dutched will react differently in baking recipes where Chemistry Matters.

This recipe calls for “Non-Alkalized Cocoa Powder”, so what you are shopping for is “Regular”, “Natural” or just plain “Cocoa” powder. No “Dutch(ed)”, and of course, ensure it’s not sweetened drinking cocoa of any sort.

ROUND ONE:

COCOA JAMMY CAKE

Make one recipe, using two (2) 9-inch round layers. I used buttermilk and used the 1 tsp vanilla as well as 1tsp almond extract. Yummy. I used no other additions in this recipe, instead treating it as a chocolatey version of a Victoria Sponge, a British classic involving two layers of cake with jam in the middle and whipped cream on top. For the jam I used my own CRANBERRY-GINGER JAM. Cranberries are very special fruits which contain enough pectin, a natural gelling agent, to create their own jam with very little prodding! Prod them a bit anyway, they're really fun when they start to pop...

CRANBERRY-GINGER JAM

INGREDIENTS:

1- 16-oz bag Fresh Cranberries- Can be frozen, does not matter in the least, will merely take slightly longer on the stove.

SPICY, SWEET CANDY LOVE!

1/2 Cup Candied or Preserved Ginger (not plain dried, this stuff is soft and so chewable you can snack on it. Whole Foods has it bagged as well as bulk, Trader Joe’s often has it in bags with the dried fruits and nuts, or it’s available from Penzeys Spices

in-store or online)

3 Tbs Orange Juice

1 Tbs Orange Zest

2 Tbs Lemon Juice

1 Tbs Lemon Zest

1 tsp Kosher Salt

2/3 Cup White Sugar

1/3 Cup Honey
1 tsp Cinnamon
.5 tsp Ground Star Anise (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS:

*LARGE SAUCPAN

*MEDIUM HEAT

*TIME: 20-25 MINUTES

1. Toss everything into a large saucepot. You want plenty of head-room as this basically becomes Culinary Napalm.

2. Cook over Medium Heat. Stir gently and thoroughly every 4-5 minutes, JUST UNTIL it resembles slightly runny jam.

3. TASTE IT after the first five minutes and see where the sweetness is going. At this point the cranberries are bursting and the sour factor is coming into play. What you thought was an out-RAAAAGE-yus amount of sugar is, in fact, barely enough to counteract the berries. Taste again at ten minutes.

4. It should coat the spoon very well and feel quite thick as you stir but in no way be stiff or pasty, it WILL tighten up as it cools and you need to spread this on the cake.

5. Place bottom cake layer on a nice plate, spread jam liberally and thickly over top of layer, leaving 1/4-inch margin all round the edge.

6. Apply second layer of cake and allow it to settle. Do not press down or squash, just let the layers get their Snuggle on.

7. Just before serving you may spread whipped cream evenly over the top layer or serve it on the side if you wish. Ice creams of every description are also divine and leaving it plain is the very definition of Simplicity as Elegance.

ROUND TWO:

CRANBERRY-NUT CHOCOLATE BUNDT

INGREDIENTS:

1- Chocolate cake recipe batter in bowl

1 Cup Chopped Nuts-Walnuts or Pecans are best, no need to toast beforehand.

1- Bag Fresh Cranberries

1 tsp Orange Extract *in addition to vanilla called for in recipe

1/8 tsp Ground Cardamom

1 Tbs Dry Minced Orange Peel
Several shaves of Fresh Nutmeg, OR
1/4 tsp Ground Nutmeg
2 tsp Ground Cinnamon
1/2 tsp Ground Star Anise (optional, some people don't like the licorice-ness)

*OPTIONAL: ADD OR TRADE WITH CRANBERRIES AND NUTS

1/2 Cup Chopped Candied/Preserved Ginger

1- to 1.5 Cups Semi-Sweet to Dark Chocolate Chips or Chunks of your choice.

INSTRUCTIONS:

*Again, prepare one recipe COCOA DEVIL’S FOOD CAKE, JOC pg. 718. Use Tube Pan instructions. LEAVE BATTER IN BOWL

*PREHEAT OVEN TO 350 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT

*LUBE AND FLOUR TUBE OR BUNDT PAN

*TIME: 45-55 MINUTES