Coming Out Party

Obama Came Out--Shall we Give a Shower?


This morning marked an historic occasion, for which we should Give Thanks, Pause to Reflect, Take Action, and Have Cake.


We were greeted by the news that President Obama has stated his belief in marriage equality.




He considered his friends, his colleagues and staff, the parent's of his children's friends...and his children.  Do they see these same-sex couples as different and undeserving of total equality?


No.


Former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, once he left office, fulfilled a long-standing promise to his wife to join the Catholic church.  Very soon after, he was vigorously questioned as to how he could have championed legalizing gay marriage in the UK when it went against the very strongest moral tenets of his faith.  His reply:


"It's what was right for the nation."


So Obama is charging ahead for equality, in the face of North Carolina's Amendment 1 passage, the now-constant assault on women's equal rights to access healthcare and reproductive services, and the long-standing barrage of Tea-Party/Right-Wing/Name-Calling. Dunno about you, I feel simultaneously wound to the hilt and worn the f*&k out people.


GingerMan and I donate to the Democratic party and PBS as a family. I donate to Planned Parenthood and Girl Scouts, and used to give to Susan G. Koman, until it surfaced with solid evidence that The Pink Ribbon had Consorted with Evil.  Until they show solid evidence of true directorial reformation, those funds are now redirected to Planned Parenthood, where they are again applied to a panoply of women's health checks and preventative care initiatives, free of politics.


But the phone calls...Ohhhhh the phone calls.  


And the emails.  I get five or six a day just from Obama for America, then one or two from Courage Campaign, a couple from Credo, who support PP, and on and on.....every day.


As I said last week, I really had to take stock and cut out most of the news in print and on TV.  The depression was overtaking me and the pleas for petition signing and letter writing and just that one more little donation of 5 bucks....


That was me: my mental capacity to deal and formulate the most cogent plan of attack; to streamline and focus attention and support, both moral and financial; was collapsing into useless ellipses.


So as I sat to write this, I decided.  Fixed donations, select recipients.


A contribution to Courage Campaign. I have supported them before, but I never before believed in sending money or manpower to other states to change their elections until the dilemma hit home.  I had a very religious friend who made it clearly known that they donated money to their church for the training of campaign workers sent here to California from their home state  in the midwest to promote Prop 8, the Anti-Marriage Equality law.  


As well as contributing to pro-Prop 8 advertising campaigns, funds went to the campaigns of elected officials IN MY STATE, NOT THEIRS, supportive of Prop 8 and ultra-conservatism in general.  We haven't spoken since.  Now it's a Civil Rights Issue, NOT a State's Rights argument.  They are no longer allowed to run and hide behind the good ol' Tenth when they come crawling out to infest the rest of us with their odious hatred when they think the coast is clear.


Also, I'll still support Planned Parenthood and Girl Scouts, with a huge-whoppin' cookie buyout every spring. Scouts, that is, PP don't do a range of cookies, but they sure deserve some.


 There are so, so many issues pulling us from so many directions--home, work, family, and all the political and social struggles that overlap-- I know I'm not the only one feeling stuck in Moral Molasses. 


We have Pagan Coming Out day, National Coming Out Day, and today is the President's Coming Out Day. So I declare this next week National Giving Out Week. It's breaking things down into smaller bites.  You may be a family of two Mums with a small child and four aging parents. You've got a lot on your plate just keeping up every day, and money can be tight. 


Step One: Ask fundraisers to take you off their phone lists.  I know it sounds obvious, but when it's the Democratic party, it seems a little harder to turn down the Home Team.  


Step Two: If you get a million emails from organizations you've donated to or signed petitions for once or twice in the past, deep breath--unsubscribe.  You can "Like" most of them on Facebook if you really want to keep track of them, but otherwise, just let yourself have some headspace, and inbox space, back.


Step Three: Then pick two or three organizations, set up contributions and be done.  


Some things, like PBS or Courage Campaign will do a small monthly amount you only have to set up once.  Anything else that comes in the mail, set it on fir--I mean, promptly recycle.


And that's it.  Really.  The rest of  it comes down to our own grass-rooting--what we talk about in Knitting Group, at parties, what we post on Facebook and Twitter and Google-Spaghetti-O's.  We may not feel it's a lot, but we have just made ourselves Drops in the proverbial Bucket.  Check your FB Friend's List--that's a whole lot of Drops--come join the Shower!

SUPER PARTY SNACK TIME!!!

And what's a party without cake?  Well, we're talking about doing good, so it's actually a super-healthy Banana Bread which anyone I have ever put it in front of has snarfed like Chocolate Gateau. 


This is my amalgamation of a few very healthy Banana Bread recipes, and it turns out my favorite Baked Good is Secretly Packing Nutritional Heat.  TOP PRO TIP:  Slice this up and wrap separately, makes a great lunch bag snack or on-the-go breakfast!

BANANA BREAD

PREP: 15 MINS

BAKE: 40-45 MINS

PREHEAT OVEN: 325F

INGREDIENTS:

-1/3 C Canola Oil

-2 Large Eggs.  Some Recipes split the eggs into whites and a yolk or accept egg-substitute, and it's possible, but I don't like to.

-1/4 C Sour Cream or Yogurt:  Using low-fat sour cream is a great idea, as it does nothing to the taste or moisture of the bread.  I have used plain 2% Yogurt and it was okay.    >>Graduate Level:  I'm planning to try Greek Style Yogurt in either 2% or Fat Free next, as they both have a very rich texture. Go for it, I'm saying.

-1C Ripe Bananas. We're talking way, way, way brown.  Like they look like UPS delivery guys.  Like they look nearly bad.  Trust me, they'll be MAGIC.

-1tsp Vanilla+ 1tsp Almond Extract.  You can skip the Almond Extract, most recipes call for just Vanilla. 

-*1.5 C White or Whole-Wheat Pastry Flour.  Purely up to taste and aesthetic.  

-*2/3C Sugar. Use White or Brown, again, to preference. I haven't used Agave or Stevia yet!

-1.5 tsp. Baking POWDER.

-1/2 tsp. Baking SODA.

-1 tsp. Cinnamon. OR 1 tsp. Penzeys Cake Spice.  (i <3 it.)

-1/4 tsp. Salt.

ADD INS:

-4Tbs. Flaxmeal (ground Flax Seed).

-1/2C Chopped Walnuts.

-1/2C Chocolate Chips OR the darkest, highest % cacao chocolate you can find, chunked up.

A WORD ABOUT FLOURS:

My attempts thus far have yielded the following:  

White Pastry Flour:  Very cake-like product, especially when using white sugar as well, much like a store-bought bakery item.  

Whole-Wheat Pastry Flour:  A little firmer, still tender due to being pastry flour (it has low levels of weak-gluten protein content compared to All-Purpose or Whole Wheat).  

Whole Wheat Flour:  Okay, wait--what was that mambo 'bout weak glutes?

Wheat Flours contain gluten, which we hear a LOT about these days, but basically it makes a big sticky protein-y net when you add liquid to flour and make any kind of dough.  Different kinds of wheat have different kinds of proteins and are sometimes processed more (or less) to achieve different uses--e.g. bread flour, cake flour, all purpose, etc. (On Food and Cooking, Harold McGee)

The JoC explains further that these differences in types of wheat and proteins affect the amount of moisture the flour can absorb.  So in most cases, we want to stick right to the recommended flour for the recipe as all the other variables have been accounted for.  

Think of it like knitting a scarf:  Cake-flour cake is like lace, Pastry-flour goods are like a cashmere scarf. Whole-Wheat regular flour used in their stead will usually produce something akin to the Woolen Breastplate of Boudicca sweater your Great Auntie knit you for Christmas.  

However, in this very specific case, I've started playing round with all these variables.  You see I've toyed with the dairy.  I'm eyeing the Sugar with Intent to Tweak.  But I started with the Flour, and I have to say, switching all the way to Whole Wheat has produced a very firm, but tender bread.  

SNEAK PREVIEW!   WHOLE WHEAT STYLE! CHOCO-CHIPS!

Definitely more bread than fluffy cake, and I feel there's even more nuttiness to it.  Start with the basic, then branch out.

As for the Add-Ins, they're all to taste, but I really do recommend the Flaxmeal, on two counts: Again, it gives a lovely nutty flavor without nuts, and it ups the fiber and omega goodness.  Nature's Broom and all...

INSTRUCTIONS:

1.  Lightly oil the bread pan.

2.  Beat- Oil, Eggs, Sour Cream, Banana and Vanilla in stand mixer or by hand mixer until creamy.  It'll look like Banana pudding.  Already Good.

3. Mix-Flour, Sugar, Baking Powder, Baking Soda, Salt, Cinnamon in a separate bowl.

4.  Start Mixer, Add Dry Ingredients to Wet.  Slowly, in a couple of stages. Mix until just combined.

5.  Add-Ins.  Stir in gently, just to combine.  Let it be cool and groovy, baby.

6.  Spoon into Pan, Pop into Oven.

7.  Check  at 40 Minutes, Skewer/ Toothpick/ Slim Knife should come out clean when poked in. 

8.  Let sit in pan on cooling rack for 5 minutes.

9.  Turn out on cooling rack, let sit for 10 minutes.

10.  Snarf.  Add Ice Cream or Yogurt as dessert. 

EXHIBIT A:  HAPPY GINGERMAN

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This is the Sound...Of Silence. And Spring!

[A mahogany-and-pink-striped head peers timidly round the corner]

Why, halloo there...


So good to see you, the last couple of weeks have been quite hec--


How long??????


Jumpin' cocoa-covered crickets.


Well, Spring is here and Reformation is at hand, my friends.  The holidays melted into early 2012-- '12' --mind you, and I was still working a LOT, every weekend from New Years to mid-March was scheduled from Thanksgiving and suddenly my head was spinning like a little Exorcist demon.  Several things were wrong, first among them, I was working too much; second, I had accrued what seemed to be a vast amount of angry, as evidenced in my last few posts.


Then I got a cold.  Minor Inconvenience, but laid out for several days under a blanket on the sofa.  Watching TV and knitting.  Until the Unthinkable happened.  I yarned myself into Knitter's Elbow.  So stiff I couldn't knit.  What to do?  I can't just sit and watch TV, drives me plumb crazy, so I did something so rare and arduous it deserved a diary entry:  I read a book.  I downloaded The Karla Trilogy by John LeCarrè, of which Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is the first entry and plunged in.  I read the whole thing in two days.


Back story: Five years ago January, I quit smoking.  The age-old advice states if you really want to make a go of quitting, move house.  It's an undertaking which requires a complete overhaul of your every daily habit, waking to bedtime.  My strongest proclivities led me to believe my car probably wouldn't start without lighting a cigarette first, and the only way I could go to sleep was to sit outside and smoke up to half a pack while reading, depending on the seductive power of the tome before me.  My lifetime propensity was for the full digestion of 3-4 books per week.  Once quit of the coffin-nails, however, my literary bent came to a screeching halt.


I couldn't concentrate.  I tried the many suggestions of friends and family but after a year I was resigned to the torture of passing my 5 overloaded bookcases of former printed-paper lovers without knowing the pleasure of their partaking.


Returning to present, I grabbed my iPad and downloaded these three books.  First book, two days.  Second, The Honourable Schoolboy, was 1100 pages and, due to my return to work, took 10 days.  Then I downloaded several  Terry Pratchett Discworld novels (probably my favorite author ever) and tore through those, especially as I was knocked flat a second time with sinus infection.  Seven books in two months...


The words stick in my consciousness and reading is once again the nearly erotic delight I spent a lifetime devoted to.


Now, what of my difficulties, First and Second, alluded to above?  Man, I was an angry, angry little girl this year.  The politics of womanhood and equality seem to be speeding backwards at a rate of acceleration matched only by the Large Hadron Collider at CERN.  As for work, my Benevolent Employer had twice broached the subject of job satisfaction relating to work schedule, a conversation ironically interrupted both times due to extreme business.


With this moment of sickitude, in which I joyfully reclaimed the printed page, I reclaimed something much, much more precious, but also a bit more vexing as far as this blog is concerned:  Silence.  After the first cold, I had been home for a few days in a row, reading  in quiet solitude.   I returned to work and approached my Benevolent Employer to resume our conversation and cut back on my availability.  B.E. was happy to have the feedback and moving forward began scheduling me with the fewer hours I enjoy.


Then I stopped watching and reading the news.


Yet, in the midst of this, I told a friend that I was quite worried that I was missing something, that I was slow, that there were Things To Do and I didn't know what but I was anxious about it.  She paused and rephrased these things I had recounted for her:  "You were stressed out as usual, then you laid down boundaries to take back your time, you stopped listening to the repeatedly negative, and now your brain is calm and quiet so you can read a book, which you have been whinging on about for the last five years.  Your problem?"


The problem has been the Silence which unwittingly extended to our time here.  Apparently the immediate result of Calming The F*$k Down means I just Shut The F*$k Up.  Truly.  GingerMan spent most of March asking me if I was OK--


"You're just.....really quiet."


Was he concerned or watching the knife drawer?


But for a steady stream of short daily posts on Facebook, I seemed to have lost my voice.  And somehow it's THE LAST DAY OF APRIL.


Now, however, I'm Getting Stuff Done:


I've been cooking some, went to Stitches West 2012 here in Santa Clara (at the end of February, mind you), snuggled my various babylicious nieces and read enough books to double my intake for the last 5 years combined. Last week I went shopping with Mary Kay Carol and finallyfinallyfinally bought a bunch of new bras.  No, chillin's, you have no idea how long I put that off...


 I have suffered some continued knitting/spinning ennui, and I haven't really exercised in what I now realize is over a year.  


Several weeks ago, Jedi Jasmin introduced me to Cat Bordhi's Houdini Sock, which is simply genius and I have since completed two pairs, one of which goes to my Benevolent Employer.  I scoured some sock books and japanese stitch dictionaries* (ooooohhh soooo lovely-they are beautifully concise, charts and photos show multiple repeats; photographs are ample and detailed) and have two sock projects queued up, yarn balled and ready to go in bags.  


This last Saturday I had the whopping privilege of taking Stephen West's Top-Down Shawl class at the fun, funky, wondrous knitting/spinning/sewing shop,  A Verb For Keeping Warm in Oakland, and now have three shawl projects ready to go.  My Schacht Matchless spinning wheel is coming out of exile in my upstairs office down to the living room. This will be a bit more of an undertaking--I feel as though I've forgotten everything about spinning.


Sooooo, Fairy 2012 is, indeed, learning to Lick The Spoon, albeit with a bit less sturm und drang than in the past.

MMMMMMMM--Olive Oil and Sea Salt!

Finding my Outside Voice again seems to take some doing, but I've plans to catch us up and plow merrily through the rest of the year (which already looks pretty nuts, including a trip to Europe, hopefully featuring significant time at The Edinburgh Festival!) and beyond.


Is there anything you'd like to catch up on?  Anything you'd like to cook? Chirp up Spring Chickens! Also, does anyone know the cure for Cadbury Mini-Egg Addiction?  All Posts Welcome.


* Being Laid Low with Plague, I posted that Thursday night: "blarrghh, need Donuts, a Burger and a Japanese Stitch Dictionary." Friday, Jedi Jasmin pings me, saying "What kind of donuts?"  Half an hour later, eight Psycho Donuts appear on my doorstep.  The next day, my doorbell rings again and The Pink One delivers a stitch dictionary, which I read cover-to-cover.  It was oddly comforting.  Jedi Jasmin is The Very Sister Of My Heart.

Revelations:  Chocolate Cake and Roasted Asparagus

So, last winter,  round about Christmas, I made the Cocoa Cake from Joy of Cooking ("Fairy 2012:  Dungeons and Flagons of Joy").  One thing that stuck, sniggling in the back of my head, was that every recipe I had ever seen using cocoa powder of any kind in a baking recipe also used hot water.  And this one did not.  I was puzzled, but remained faithful.  It was a dense cake, and bordered, in my opinion, on dry. Kinda, ya know, moseyed round the fence of un-moistness.  But it was still very flavorful and was great with the cranberry jam in the middle.

CHOCOLATE CAKE, THE STAFF OF LIFE.

While I was down the second time with the stupid sinus infection, GingerMan left for Ireland on a Diplomatic Mission to the Relations, e.g. for niece and nephew spoiling.  So alone and with time to waste, my Idle Hands became Devil's Food Playthings.  The new recipe was Penzeys Aunt Velmas Chocolate Cake.  It is Moist, it is DEEEELISHUS.


They post it in the store a couple times a year and it's available online.  It uses many of the same ingredients, this being a basic recipe common among many cocoa-producing companies and published recipe collections.  Variations depend mainly on slight changes in amounts of flour, cocoa, baking soda and eggs.  But they ALL use hot water with the cocoa powder.  So follow the link and follow the directions EGG-ZACKLY.  Now, after cross-referencing many different recipes on the 'net, I was really nervous, as Aunt Velma's was the only one that had the eggs plunging in right after the boiling water.  I thought to myself, quote:


"Scrambled Eggs.  Chocolate Scrambled Eggs."


Nothing could be further from the truth.  Just do everything right down to the letter.  EXCEPT:  You can make it in a bundt/tube pan by simply adjusting the time to 50-55 mins.  Also, if using a bundt or tube pan, I like to butter/spray the very bottom of it, just for insurance.  Do not do the sides, the cake needs some traction to rise.  There were going to be pictures here, but the cake disappeared before the camera made it to the kitchen.

ROASTED ASPARAGUS, NATURE'S GREEN CANDY.

The Asparagus orgy is on, and for a limited time only.  If you ever see asparagus outside of this season, be suspicious.  This recipe yields a culinary delight to surpass (almost) French Fries.  


CAUTION:  The first time I made this, GingerMan was HIGHLY suspicious, staring  at them as the pan lay on the cooling rack.  Then he tried one.  While my back was turned, half of the first pan disappeared down his greedy Irish gullet.  Score One for Nutrition.




Heat oven to 350F
Time: Prep: 5 minutes, Cook 1 hour*


*In which you need do a) nothing, b) fix all the rest of the meal without having to worry a bit about the veg!


INGREDIENTS:


AS MUCH ASPARAGUS AS YOU WANT/ CAN AFFORD
OLIVE OIL
SEA SALT
HERBS:  This is your Free Pass To Flavor.  I have used Penzeys Mural of Flavor, which is a blend of just about every herb you can think of, I have used a basic Italian Blend, I have used Mrs. Dash Garlic and Herb at my mom's house and they are all great.  Experiment and enjoy, just make sure you use DRIED, they work better in this long cooking process.


PROCEDURE:


1.  Rinse asparagus.  Hold tip in one hand, hold bum in other hand and gently bend.  It will decide where to snap off.  Do not think you can "save" a lot of asparagus by only clipping off the very, very bum end, you will end up with a lot of fibrous stalk on your dinner plate which you will find hateful and distasteful.  The Stalk Knows.


2.  Lay stalks out on cookie sheet(s).  Ensure they are dry.  Drizzle lightly with Olive Oil to coat, sprinkle lightly with Sea Salt, then lightly with Herbs.  Roll the stalks round in all the good stuff then lay them out evenly over the sheet.

3.  Pop them in the oven for 30-40 minutes at 350F.  Check first at 30 minutes, and see how you like them.  This is a question of aesthetics. The longer they roast with the heat on, the crispier the tips become, the more caramelized the stalks will be.  What this looks like, however, is darkening tops and collapsing stalks.  Be brave, but decide how far you want to go.



4.  At the end of 30-40mins, DO NOT REMOVE from the oven!  Shut off the heat and leave them in the cooling oven for the rest of the hour.  Remove from oven and place sheet pan(s) on cooling rack(s) for a few minutes.  Dish 'em up and watch 'em disappear.





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Domestic Affairs

So I left you with a bit of a rant against Taylor the Girl Scout last time, and a brief explanation of what a transgender child suffers socially, aside from the horrible myriad medical complications their "childhood" will comprise.  It's really no different for any kid who's gay, any kid who's just "different".

I linked to the Honest Girl Scout site she affiliates herself with, the one whose members believe Girl Scouts USA are raising Pro-Abortion Lesbians.  Today will not be a long-winded rant. I am, with permission, presenting the post of a dear friend about the difference between Domestic Partnership and Marriage.  Her Wife (capitalized, words matter here), the Fabulous Madame Lisbèth, was a Girl Scout, and I hope to soon feature her words on Scouting, Womanhood and Equality.

My final point being: Any legal body which holds another human being's rights in judgement, as though they had committed a crime, and tells them "Separate But Equal" has torn the blindfold from Lady Justice's eyes, dashed her scales to the rubbish heap of minority morality and whipped her into political submission.

From a  Cancer-Beatin' Bad-Ass Mamma and Wife:

"4 years ago today my wife and I signed our domestic partnership paperwork.  I was on the couch in my PJs and my wife (we got gay married in the open window in CA) was besides me, while our friend (who had driven in from out of town) was acting as our notary.  It was simple and required no state official, license, or witness (other then a notary).  In other words it was second class.  

Why did we do it?  I had just been released from my 2nd

hospital stint.  I couldn’t walk 5 ft unassisted, and I had cancer.  I needed the woman I loved to take care of me, and the only way to do that was to sign a piece of paper on my couch.  The problem here is that folks that object to gay marriage say domestic partnerships are okay, but they’re not.  There was no fan fare, we signed a form, wrote a check and mailed it in to be processed.  The state then acknowledged it and that was it.  

When you get married, you have an official or a priest, you have witnesses, and fan fare, but most important it’s a big fuckin’ deal even to strangers.  Plus, you're not left with the term partner.  What the hell does domestic partner mean?  Do we have a domestic cleaning business now?  But wife and husband they mean something.  

Today is the 4 yr anniversary of my domestic partnership.  I love my partner so much so that I married her, but this day fills me with anger and sadness on the behalf of all those that are just left with domestic partnership - a second class no fanfare needed not good enough to be called a marriage  marriage." 

--SPP, 25 January 2012

A BIG, FAT PS:  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES WILL BE COMING ONLINE SOONISH!  Check online at: Girl Scout Cookie Finder !  ZOMG THERE'S EVEN AN APP!  You don't even have to take the suckers home, many will allow you to sign a form stating you have paid for the cookies and donated them to the local food bank or troops or whatnot.  DO IT! DO IT NOW!!! SPREAD THE LOVE!!!

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Tough Cookies Won't Crumble

DEAR TAYLOR THE GIRL SCOUT,

I see from your video you wish me to boycott Girl Scout Cookies this year.  Your video was very well made, and your speech was succinct.  As an American who believes in the strictest letter of Constitutional Freedom of Speech, I fully support your right to voice your opinion on this matter.  

Now I am voicing mine

And I might not be nice.  Because you seem to be a young woman, not a child, and appear to be indignant to point of excluding several important factors when considering your opinion, chief among them reason, humanity and compassion.

You are a terrible Girl Scout.  I know girls your age are very concerned about Rules and Fairness.  What the hell else do your parents hear about day and night?  “It’s not FAIR!!!”  

What is really not fair is to be born a person whose genetics placed them in a corporal body drastically out of step with their mind and spirit.  I have seen interviews with transgender individuals from ages 6 and up and not one of them casually or cavalierly gazed into the camera and stated they just did it for kicks.  They were born that way and get nothing but kicked.  Often.  Usually by people like you or the people incited to do so by your words of condemnation.

Even in the blessed instance where their transgender nature is obvious from an early age and a supportive family recognizes and celebrates them for who they are, these individuals have a long and rocky road before them until gender reassignment surgeries can be undertaken.  The first step is legal and social recognition

This means the parents have to subject their beloved child to a battery of psychological testing and petition to have the birth certificate changed to reflect their offspring’s true inner gender.  By this time the child has already dressed and presented socially as that other gender.  Sometimes it means simply changing the way they dress and coming up with a new name if they’re young enough, but mostly it means a painful and awkward series of changes-- at the least a new school, but sometimes moving the family to make a clean break.

Yah, this is sooo easy.  And to support their daughter--yes, their daughter-- as a girl, to affirm her nature and place her in a nurturing and educative environment with other girls, they sign her up with Girl Scouts.

OOOPS!  Sorry, I have it all wrong.  They just did it so their 7-year-old could jeopardize your safety.  So in ten years, when she is 17, and has already taken all the abuse you could not possibly imagine in your righteous little ivory tower, some other girl just like you could discover all this and raise the alarm because obviously the other poor kid’s lifelong plan was to take a kicking just long enough to sleep in the same tent with her.

Safety?  Safety????  I have also visited The Honest Girl Scout site you have affiliated with, where Girl Scouts are lambasted as Pro-Lesbian, Pro-Abortion, and, for some reason, Evil-y Pro-United Nations, among other things.  There are so many breathless hyper-link screeds on the front page alone, I cannot fathom what deeper danger lies beneath while the presenters still claim to be Girl Scouts.

The atmosphere this site seeks to create encroaches on the safety of those who are different from you.  It’s that simple. You have aligned yourself with misogynists and bigots.  It’s not FAIR.

As a Human, as an American, when that transgender child enters the world, they are one of Us.  Deserving of compassion, respect and equality under the law and as part of the social contract that binds us as a human society. As a Girl Scout, when that little transgender girl joins your troop, she is LEGALLY a female, and she becomes your sister. You should be standing up for each other.  When the rest of the school, the rest of the town, the rest of the world come to knock her down for being different in a way that is deeply painful, personal and was in no way her choice, your job is close ranks and defend her.

Instead you want her outed. Purged and smacked with the label “OUTCAST” so everyone knows she doesn’t belong on either side.  You poor, sad girl.  To defend your right to speak your mind I will stand up to anyone who says you should stay silent.  But when you come to knock that little girl down, you just watch.

I will stand in your way, I will take the kicks, I will give just as good.  You will see what a real woman does for her sisters, her daughters, her fellow humans.  I was never a Girl Scout but I can eat a cookie like a mofo.  I will buy every box I see and order more.  I have already spread the word to my friends on FaceBook, Google+ and Twitter.  You just watch.

That little girl is one sweet little cookie, but we are one bunch of tough cookies, and we will NOT crumble.

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Danger IS Her Middle Name

So my newest niece, daughter of my dearest friend, Jedi Jasmin, has made her debut.  

In accordance with the First Universal Law of Babies, we were five days out from Sharkbean Shower (which had just topped 40 attendees, lest she think she was not highly anticipated), and 3.5 weeks out from Release Date, when I read on Facebook yesterday morning J had heartburn.  Mhmmmm....


I still planned to go sort the cake.  I texted her about a detail.  She texted back "Busy, talk to you soon."

And so, with the greatest tearful squelchiness,  we welcome Little Miz Danger Knitmore to our family.  Here is her birthday cake:

It's literally the only birthday candle we have in our house.  Notice she only gets the good china. 

Also the much-tagged and annotated JOC in the background, cuz it's time to cook and box and fill the family fridge with easy-to-heat dinners. The menu:

Roasted Butternut Squash and Apple Soup

Meatloaf (Veal, Pork and Beef, Bacon on top)

Risotto (Mushroom and Pea with Tarragon)

Mac N Cheese

The delightful Madame Lisbèth, herself a new-ish Yummy Mummy is pitching in with her deeeelishus Pot Roast, cuz going to college and having a 9-month-old just ain't enough for her.  Like ever.  I never know how she does it, but she does it with artistry and style that goggles my brain.

So our Dr Seuss-ical Shower will rain another day-- the time for Snuggling and Squealing is Nigh.

To my dearly beloved friends, J & A, there are no words to express how happy we are that your hopes and dreams are made real in this tiny squiggly little person.

To Miz D:  Live up to your name.  Resist the Dark side.  Mostly.  Call me when you can't and I'll drive.  Then I'll never tell unless we get caught, and at my age I totally have plausible deniability so we're golden.  I cannot tell you in words how much your parents hoped and dreamed to have you, and how very much they love you more than anything in the universe. No matter where you are, no matter what you do, nothing will change that.  Ever.

Now go cause some Trouble.

Love, Auntie Laura

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FAIRY 2012: DUNGEONS AND FLAGONS OF JOY

Okay, people. As has been my only firm assertion of certainty in life, formulated a little over 10 years ago, the one thing I have come to rely on is the fact that whatsoever I may decree to be so, or possible, or myself capable or incapable of accomplishing; the Universal Force will nearly immediately, and with due prejudice, slap me in the face with it and prove me wrong.  Or foolishly over assertive, under-considered and, perhaps, lacking finesse and tact.

But it is grossly unfair to employ GingerMan in it’s disapprobation.  Yet equally heartwarming the number of persons engaged to steer me toward my first ever Statement of Resolution which, you may recall from the other day, I said I never do. Smack!

First, My Transgression: 

In the course of beginning this blog, I may have, at the expense of other perfectly fine and useful cookbooks, extolled the heavenly virtues of my beloved Joy of Cooking 2006 Anniversary Edition.  I might have snooted, just a bit, at the lovely Marion Cunningham and the equally beloved Fanny Farmer cookbook.  The fact is, I snoot and snark quite a bit about, well...

Too many things to account for.  My inner Old Man, Bern, grows crustier by the year and I fear I may do less to mask his bilious outpourings at times.  In the Interwebic Universe, however, I am often both a Refined Genius and Gentle Angel of Compassion. Step into Reddit.com’s giddily adolescent chat rooms, anywhere on Fark.com or Ars Technica, even lovely crafty communities which shall remain nameless but whose boards contain the same veiled snipes, condescension, and haughtiness.

Thus, I had to laugh till I wet my ducky pajama pants when GM sent me this link, a pastiche of what would surely be the role-playing game community’s ‘expertly’ affected examination of a JOC-type cookbook: “Killjoy Cooking With the Dungeons and Dragons Crowd” http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/commentary/alttext/2008/06/alttext_0618 . ‘Scuze me, hafta go dry the tears, I may have just cracked a rib laughing.

Where’s the Joy??

As discussed last time, it’s time to grab it like a bad-ass and run with it, SOOOOOOOO, LADIES AND JELLYSPOONS, I PRESENT YOU WITH, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME EVER ON STAGE, SCREEN OR INTERWEBS......

FAIRY 2012: LICK THE SPOON!




And in that spirit, MORE CAKE!  CHOCOLATE CAKE! TWO WAYS!

From Joy Of Cooking, you will need TWO (2) Recipes of COCOA DEVIL’S FOOD CAKE, pg 718.  


NOTE:  This recipe brings up an interesting lesson about cocoa powders.  You may have noted, when shopping, that there is often a choice of “Cocoa Powder” and “Dutch(ed) Cocoa Powder”.  From JOC pp. 969-970 (in the section “Know Your Ingredients”), we learn Cocoa Powder is chocolate “...pulverized and partially defatted...”, processed to it’s dry state.  


Harold McGee, in On Food and Cooking (pg. 557, pg.705) describes the journey of solid cacao bean to powder to arrive at this, the most concentrated essence of chocolate flavor, then the further processing required to achieve Dutch(ed) cocoa by neutralizing the acidity.  Due to this alkalinization, Dutched will react differently in baking recipes where Chemistry Matters.  


This recipe calls for “Non-Alkalized Cocoa Powder”, so what you are shopping for is “Regular”, “Natural” or just plain “Cocoa” powder.  No “Dutch(ed)”, and of course, ensure it’s not sweetened drinking cocoa of any sort.

ROUND ONE:

COCOA JAMMY CAKE

Make one recipe, using two (2) 9-inch round layers.  I used buttermilk and used the 1 tsp vanilla as well as 1tsp almond extract. Yummy. I used no other additions in this recipe, instead treating it as a chocolatey version of a Victoria Sponge, a British classic involving two layers of cake with jam in the middle and whipped cream on top.  For the jam I used my own CRANBERRY-GINGER JAM.  Cranberries are very special fruits which contain enough pectin, a natural gelling agent, to create their own jam with very little prodding!  Prod them a bit anyway, they're really fun when they start to pop...

CRANBERRY-GINGER JAM

INGREDIENTS:

1- 16-oz bag Fresh Cranberries- Can be frozen, does not matter in the least, will merely take slightly longer on the stove.

SPICY, SWEET CANDY LOVE!

1/2 Cup Candied or Preserved Ginger (not plain dried, this stuff is soft and so chewable you can snack on it.  Whole Foods has it bagged as well as bulk, Trader Joe’s often has it in bags with the dried fruits and nuts, or it’s available from Penzeys Spices 

in-store or online)

3 Tbs Orange Juice

1 Tbs Orange Zest

2 Tbs Lemon Juice

1 Tbs Lemon Zest

1 tsp Kosher Salt

2/3 Cup White Sugar

1/3 Cup Honey
1 tsp Cinnamon
.5 tsp Ground Star Anise (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS:

*LARGE SAUCPAN

*MEDIUM HEAT

*TIME: 20-25 MINUTES

1. Toss everything into a large saucepot.  You want plenty of head-room as this basically becomes Culinary Napalm.  

2. Cook over Medium Heat. Stir gently and thoroughly every 4-5 minutes, JUST UNTIL it resembles slightly runny jam.  

3. TASTE IT after the first five minutes and see where the sweetness is going.  At this point the cranberries are bursting and the sour factor is coming into play.  What you thought was an out-RAAAAGE-yus amount of sugar is, in fact, barely enough to counteract the berries.  Taste again at ten minutes.

4. It should coat the spoon very well and feel quite thick as you stir but in no way be stiff or pasty, it WILL tighten up as it cools and you need to spread this on the cake.

5. Place bottom cake layer on a nice plate, spread jam liberally and thickly over top of layer, leaving 1/4-inch margin all round the edge.

6. Apply second layer of cake and allow it to settle.  Do not press down or squash, just let the layers get their Snuggle on.

7. Just before serving you may spread whipped cream evenly over the top layer or serve it on the side if you wish.  Ice creams of every description are also divine and leaving it plain is the very definition of Simplicity as Elegance.

 ROUND TWO:

CRANBERRY-NUT CHOCOLATE BUNDT

INGREDIENTS:

1- Chocolate cake recipe batter in bowl

1 Cup Chopped Nuts-Walnuts or Pecans are best, no need to toast beforehand.

1- Bag Fresh Cranberries

1 tsp Orange Extract *in addition to vanilla called for in recipe

1/8 tsp Ground Cardamom

1 Tbs Dry Minced Orange Peel
Several shaves of Fresh Nutmeg, OR
1/4 tsp Ground Nutmeg
2 tsp Ground Cinnamon
1/2 tsp Ground Star Anise (optional, some people don't like the licorice-ness)

*OPTIONAL: ADD OR TRADE WITH CRANBERRIES AND NUTS

1/2 Cup Chopped Candied/Preserved Ginger

1- to 1.5 Cups Semi-Sweet to Dark Chocolate Chips or Chunks of your choice.

INSTRUCTIONS:

*Again, prepare one recipe COCOA DEVIL’S FOOD CAKE, JOC pg. 718.  Use Tube Pan instructions. LEAVE BATTER IN BOWL

*PREHEAT OVEN TO 350 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT 

*LUBE AND FLOUR TUBE OR BUNDT PAN

*TIME: 45-55 MINUTES

CAKE WALTZ:  PREP, DRY, WET, MIX!

1. Add Nuts through Dry Minced Orange Peel and/or Optional Stuff into Batter and mix gently with rubber spatula.  

2. Pour into Tube/Bundt Pan and bake according to instructions.

3. Serves best with a simple glaze (see pg. 796) if ya wanna, or just lots and lots of whipped cream and ice cream.

SOOOOOO... Here’s to 2012, to health and happiness, and, come to think of it, don’t stop at the spoon--

LICK THE BOWL AND THE BEATER TOO!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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